Cogitans

I guess, it’s a goodbye. I already had it, if you haven’t

Do not ever mix business and friends.

Yeah, unless they are capable of both, never do that. But sometime it’s inevitable.

With her, I’m doing well for almost 3 years. Tapi memang gondok sepihak karena beberapa kali saya yang nahan dongkol. Belakangan saya mah sudah bisa toleransi, kalau kerja sama dia ya udah lah terima aja nasib ngerjain sendiri. Expectless, pokoknya.

It was fine until we work with other people. This new team doesn’t know how she works and when they hit ‘the jackpot’ they won’t let it go easily and not as accepting as me. Iyalaaah~ dan akhirnya ‘kena’ lah dia dibantai. And I’m not helping her because I think it’s the right time she learnt something from other people when I never did it to her personally in the sake of friendship.

But she’s angry. I think it’s funny, how could she is the one who got angry while she’s in the wrong? Well, now she is avoiding us whenever we bump into each other. I must say she’s hurt. I understand you’re hurt, but hey, you have to know what it’s been like for me. Our friendship had been on the same pattern. She’s been on and off, come and go as she pleases. But I’m not the one who have a problem with it. And I think she’s immature. If she don’t learn something then it’s not my loss.

I’ve been betrayed by her a lot more than I ever did to her (honestly I can’t remember ever betraying her at all, I guess I never did). But I never pushed her away if she got around me again and again. I’m not that hurt by her move before, maybe we never had a deep friendship as I thought we had. Or is it just me always being so understanding and forgiving and tolerating her behaviour.

On other behalf, I’m perfectly fine with it, because I’m professional. It’s work when it’s work. You have to improve yourself to be better. But if you want to stay casual outside work then I’m still yours. Sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life. Well, how understanding I am, huh.

But when this professional issue hit her she turned her face and avoiding problem. She doesn’t want to get blamed of her own mistake. And I think part of her is blaming me for not helping her back. It’s so typical of her. It’s not like the first time she is blaming or avoiding problem and people. I think this time our friendship would never be the same anymore. It’s her choice anyway. And I’m fine with whatever it would be like in the future. You’ll have to learn the hard way. I’m not gonna covering your back ever again, I think it’s been already a one sided relationship for long time.

So, maybe it’s early goodbye from me because I can’t see you’ll be looking at me the same way anymore.

Well, goodbye then?

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6 thoughts on “I guess, it’s a goodbye. I already had it, if you haven’t

  1. hmm.. kayaknya aku tau deh 😐 remember the time when I took a class with you (sit in, as always)? last semester, after we have a lunch together. you sat with me, not with your friend(s). you said something like you fed up with someone?

    1. Haha.. naaaay. It’s different person. Nope, I don’t bother with personal problem. It’s just when professional and personal one clashing and shattering, then it’s big problem for me.

      1. hahahaha. someone should be nice as personal, but sometime (s)he can be so annoying as professional :))
        aku ketemu orang2 kayak gitu pas KKN. hehe

      2. Yeah, indeed. Kadang orang ga bisa bedain masalah personal dan professional, some just.. can’t do that. Makanya itu aku jadi kasian juga liat temen yg satu itu ‘blm dewasa’ sepenuhnya. Masalah gini di bawa2 secara pribadi.. -.-a

  2. yepp…. dan kadang tindakan kita yang bertujuan “menyadarkan” dia malah gak diterima. malah balik memusuhi kita 😐 padahal kan maksud kita baik. hehe 🙂 santai aja lah Ky. cuma dia doang. ntar pas KKN lebih parah loh, apalagi kalian kan KKN random banget bakalan setim sama siapa. pembelajaran aja sih kalo buat aku orang kayak temen mu itu ;))

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